full moon.. .

bought a book eons ago .. chakra healing..by liz simpson.. think i must have bought it maybe 15 years ago when i first joined the book club which cost a fortune.. and i quickly got out of..just glancing the sacral chakra..svadhisthana..meaning sweetness...i,m going to end up needing bill Murray from ghost busters...and its anything but a joke..

a dream in mid jan brought it all and i never asked for the dream either....
its full moon tomorrow...anything can last.. linger..
if you drink coffee the after effects of the caffeine..linger on..

i never liked full moon...it brings me upset equilibrium..misunderstandings...

chakra,s..do they exist? answers on a postcard..

studying up. about chakra,s. as ive done before yet never took much notice...
i know without doubt we have them, now ive just got to .. what.. no idea.. but im thinking i can,t spend my life walking around counting to 1 hundred.....perish the thought...
its there when i sit in utter quiet...i think.. its here again..
didnt ask for it...it found me..

id like to know if it can be used for .. well sending or recieving from anywhere really and i go cold as i write this but its something that exists.
and as usual im on my own with it, everything that ive had to deal with in life has been... well i,m always the first.. i have no benchmark...no one to talk to..fear of ridicule.... i,ll cancel that statement...im not in fear because..its magic... only way to describe spiritual things..
i have no one to communicate it to either...which is the way things are in life.. mine anyway.

but without doubt i was born too soon, i,m out of kilter.. out of place in a world where i dont belong...
and id be sent to the tower for it and i am already there so it doesnt matter whats done to me really..
antibiotics not working.... asleep early yet woke with cough so its like the first
and as usual its ... groundhog day....

and you do think to yourself.. hope things arent in for a lifetime.. thats not good for anyone..

tablets seem to be working..last night after 11pm dancing in the kitchen not much. about 2 minutes... but its improvement.....fast asleep soon after..
no dreams ..slept through..

i,ll keep on saying good things about people and the world .. its all i know ..lifes too short .. well mine is anyway.. i can,t change my core essence.. i just can,t play along with.. conflict, i don,t know how to...its not a part of me.. never has been... i always try to give my all trying to resolve.. ....esp..when my heart is good.. but every day seems to be groundhog day..

talked to the doc. like waiting to have your head chopped off. antibiotics winging thier way to me..
but found out from antique prog. ive a cranberry glass lamp that may be worth something.

nothing much but the odd card now ....as ive been doing...

before i put out the washing...over the last few months for the first time in my life ive looked ahead into the future and saw nothing.....a blank page...
that is good...
nothing is mapped out for me....i won,t have to be doing this anymore..
when you know whats coming life can become boring..especially if its a struggle..
it proves that i,m optimistic.. it,s like waiting for xmas .. you've no idea what santa claus is bringing you.. its a surprise..

that's what its going to be like for me when ive my health back.. as i don't know what its like to be well.. 15 years ago it started..