can,t not say that it all still goes on..healing..night, day. thats it really.
turmoil too, just the vibes.. plus mystical things in the midst of it all.
thinking too that sometimes there are people for whatever reason can tune in well ive said it all before but where i fall short is 2 things go on.. feeling and hearing. so i don,t listen. if i do i ignore it. the hearing.

they are 2 completely opposing matters. things happened and i could never believe the hearing after that. only bad things.
thats the thing that caused utter confusion and it didnt matter what i heard after that, i coud,nt ever trust again.
so i dis believed all along really but erred on the side of caution.

so now theres just the healing feeling to try and understand.
it,s not diminishing as i close down and shut myself off it follows me.
its been like this for a long while. in total silence.
its sad when all trust is lost.
but survival mode kicks in when traumatized.
its the only way to explain it.
this is what happens between me and the world.